Bashful Hips Vol​.​III

by Bashful Hips

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Bashful Hips Nashville, Tennessee

Bashful Hips is an Avant Garde project from the mind of Ian Fellerman. Bringing his sometimes searing, sometimes hilarious but always poignant observations to bear over an entire stable of Noise Rock/Hip Hop informed Electronica, Ian's music is never stable, always changing and searching for the sound to express his feelings.
-Paul Jung
Strage Daze Radio
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Track Name: 01.97 Cents Prod. by DMJ
Dear Notebook,

Thank you for taking my abuse,

It was cathartic to ruin you with my dirty notes

To disgrace your lily white pages with my messy artwork

I will look over you to take back my stabs I painted on you

You were ninety-seven cents, but worth so much more

I’m sorry about the time that I spilled my drink on your sleeve

We had the most secretes romance I’ve ever had

I told you things I’d be embarrassed to tell my dad

You are a Molotov cocktail

You kept me warm at night

You are revolutionary

You are a canary on fire

I’m sorry about the time I spilled my ink on your pages



And I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be a long, long time

And life is flat and it can seem boring

Well what am I trying to communicate here?



I’m sorry that my silence intimidates you

I swear it’s not that I try to

I recently learned that a whisper can be so much louder

And reach so much farther than a scream ever could.



I know I’m supposed to exude an arrogance that is successful

Attract things that are meaningful

But the truth is that I have nothing to offer you

So I blend in on the bus, in coffee shops and night clubs

I can pay for your drinks but I can’t give you day to day conversation
Track Name: 02.Slide Prod. by DMJ
02.Slide
Can I get romantic with myself?

Used to hate my smile

Now I’m learning to be bashful

Hey can I make myself smile?

Well the sound of your sex

The ribbon on your hip

I stare directly into your eyes,

I see everything, there’s nothing you can hide



Were so damn disconnected, could you put down your I-phone for just one second



I stare directly into your eyes

I see everything there’s nothing you can hide

We blush because we both know,

We want you out of your clothes

Stumble in the dark

My pain I’m learning to live with

Yeah I want to be bashful,

Tonight I’m going to forget it



Stumble in the dark

Life is hard, when you hate your smile
Track Name: 03.Saturday Night Prod. by DMJ
You look like my ex-wife

Probably not the way to start a relationship right

I don’t go out on Saturday night

I go for a run

Write a song for an old friend

Count up paychecks

Looking at numbers get my bank account right

Smoke cigarettes

Count shooting stars

Across the moon at 2am

Write verbs till 3, try to go to sleep



Well I’m sorry that I wronged you

I’m sorry that my heart moved,

I’m sorry about your heart



I’ve gotten into decent shape

My body built like my mind

Stretched out and thin, bent in certain places

I’ve fallen off and gotten back on again

A greyhound bus that goes nowhere

I’ve searched and searched across the mainland

It all seems the same, it’s a shame
Track Name: 04.Sydney Part II Prod. by DMJ
Dear Sydney I'm trapping you in a song

I hope your new friend he doesn't mind

I put you on wax, wrapped our time in cellophane

It's the only way that I know

How to say goodbye



Closure, conclusion

Closure, yeah I mean conclusion

Whatever gets me home, you know in bed faster



Well dear Sydney,

Enjoyed our time spent at the movies

Watched you laugh at the screen

Nervous system broken

Hoping I could still breathe

I guess that's life credits roll

We hope our favorite characters, stay that way

Content



I meant it when I wrote

Life’s about concord grapes and sparkling cider

On picnic blankets

I hope you find it



If you see me looking sad on the street

Don’t be a stranger

Or do, whatever you want to

I have my coffee I have my orange juice

I have the new Serengeti CD in my Walkman

I’m living well it just doesn't look like it

I think you’re special

I hope you feel that way

Well conclusion closure it's all the same

Well conclusion closure dear Sydney, it's all the same



Dear Sydney,

I hope you make it there

Closure, conclusion, closure I hope you make it there
Track Name: 05.Rays feat. DarkmatterJesus
I need your rays

You are sunshine and I ‘am darkness



Well there are things that were not supposed to talk about

Like dirty socks and when it’s time to take the trash out

And the night you called me and told me you cried all day

I was envious, I wished I was you



This is my life, and I guess it means that I’m alone a lot

And I killed two spiders in my apartment tonight

The third got away but I hit him with bug spray



And in my life I’ve waved to strangers

Hoping it was her
Track Name: 06.Alright
I make sound pollution for the lonely

For my friends who have always been alone

I sleep to the tones of Xanax and organic veggie dinners

I’ll make the beats for the loners

Who want to go to work then go home

And read the works of Homer

We have no choice but to take very cold showers



Well you're idea of fun is so ordinary

I want scars and stretch marks dimples in all the wrong places

I want to see it all but not by judging it

But by kindly exploration

My idea of fun is a CD that skips like it was worked over by a

DJ

Trying to make the perfect mix

Well, all he is trying to do is create the perfect mix

And I refuse to fall down in the shower



Well the fucked up part is, I’m starting to feel alright

And the fucked up part is, I’m starting to feel alright

And I can, talk and manipulate conversation

I can coast through awkward social situations



And it's as boring as all hell,

I’d rather go home
Track Name: 07.Trench Warfare
Insanity,

I guess it’s just a figure of speech

I was lost for so long

It’s been five months

How long is enough now?

I’m saying it now

You know I’m done

And I slip back and forth

But always more south

Then my compass points north

And in the present tense

I have nothing going on



How can I define that?

Well how do you define that?

I guess there is more to life than love

But it’s just not that exciting

I heard you ignore your loneliness

Hoping someday someone comes along and it’s beautiful

I recognize my fallacies

I hope it’s time we make a treaty



When the night comes and the only hand you’ve had to hold

Is a wooden post to kill all those vampires and ghosts

In my trench alone those are the longest nights

Every move to get comfortable might as well be a Vietcong

fight

It’s not black or white; it’s different shades of red

It’s just a complete mess
Track Name: 08.Letters
Well you are my friend

We hold hands at night

Intermingle arms and legs

Get twisted in blankets and sheets

Will be like hospital patients

When your mind has you down

I won’t try to you drag you up

Bring you tea and listen

When my heart breaks into a million little pieces

You won’t bring me glue

You’ll touch my hand and let me be silent



Oh god, I can barely remember the time we spent

Or the mole on your face

But I'll write you every Christmas

To remind us of the space we spent acting like hospital

patients



And I’ve been walking slower

The time I have to myself

Notice time moves with the pace of my feet

Now that I’m walking slower

I meet more people I see more things

But I haven’t seen you, I live in grime

I get the feeling it’s going to be a long, long, time

And grief it appears in stages

I like denial, the idea it never happened

I’m in acceptance, but I’m hoping that in the next ten seconds

I’ll forget it, I guess that’s not acceptance at all
Track Name: 09.Blue Moons
Will I start every notebook feeling like this?

Well I wish my metaphors weren’t metaphors at all

I feel sick all the time, pressed with a hundred ton blankets

Sits around my neck, it made my shoulders sore

There is a lot of games to be played

But I fold quick, just so I can sit and watch it



And I watch the sky and I notice the change in weather

And I see the sunrise and I see the stars set up the night sky

And a moon can make my blood shake

Bring me up and get me high

But when it wanes away it makes my blood stay

And fill up and go to that old place



Honesty is loud,

But if there is no one around,

does it even make a sound?



All these people, they look so happy

Dressed in their Sunday best gowns

Walk aimlessly through town

And I don’t have a dress to impress with

Paint it grows and shifts

Like the words that came out when we were breaking down



The tangy taste of soap and water

And I might be a ghost

Not the most social host

And unless you’re down for the game

Don’t expect words to burst aflame
Track Name: 10.Closure
Finishing up loose ends

Not making amends

And I want closure from my attacker

Does that even make sense?

Well the screen is black, black on all those chapters

And the screen it teared a hole, the screen it tears a hole

And the screen is black on all those chapters and it’s over

And I’ll be so gone by the time it comes around,

I'll be so gone by the time this thing comes around

And I was told I was dead inside

That’s why I can’t cry

It didn’t bother me

Psychic pain,

And I was told it gets better, I’m thinking I’ll have to wait

I’m told it gets better, well close the door and go to sleep



And I’ve been saying it over and over,

Life is flat and that’s okay,

And I’ve been saying it over and over,

I want a better reflection

I’ve been working on this reflection

I want a better reflection



Being alone is starting to be all right

I told my dad and my mom there is nothing to be sad about or happy

I’m not jumping for fucking joy but I’m not burning a hole in my arm either

I can’t rehash the past but I can’t look pretty far beyond my feet either

I want to get the hell out of here

I’m getting older

There may not be another chance to become the man I want to be

I’m getting alright with my body and now I have to come clean with me

I have to come clean with myself