An Introduction to Bashful Hips Vol​.​I - Vol​.​XIV

by Bashful Hips

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about

12/22/14

Press Release

We've heard all this music before, why should I listen to this shit again?

Well, I thought maybe if I organized it, added some stories and background to the songs, it might put them in a new perspective and show where the project has been before and where it is going. It's also just a tricky way to get my name back out there for the new record “Too Old for a Coming of Age Story…” which will be released February 14th, 2015.

I wrote, recorded and released a record every month from July 2012 until August of 2013, culminating in fourteen albums. They were all about my first love. We were together for about six years.

In 2012, I lost my home, band, studio, car, identity and best friend. The six years we were together I used our relationship to fill a hole inside me. With the relationship gone I tried to fill the hole with these records.

Even though she and I haven’t spoken in three years, I still consider her a huge influence in my life. Damn, I wrote fourteen records for her. Our love was twisted, but she taught me how to love. I've loved since, but not like that. My love for her was all consuming.

After the break up, I went into a manic state for fourteen months and created such a large collection of music that it’s been hard for people to know where to get started. I didn’t exactly pick the most accessible songs for this collection but I picked the ones that had the most impact on me.

I’m excited for the chance to look back, but since it’s not so pretty, I don’t care to stare.

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released December 22, 2014

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about

Bashful Hips Nashville, Tennessee

Bashful Hips is an Avant Garde project from the mind of Ian Fellerman. Bringing his sometimes searing, sometimes hilarious but always poignant observations to bear over an entire stable of Noise Rock/Hip Hop informed Electronica, Ian's music is never stable, always changing and searching for the sound to express his feelings.
-Paul Jung
Strage Daze Radio
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Track Name: Sydney
Pretending I don't care,
Calling me from across the street,
Pretending I don't care,
As I nurse my coffee,
I'm pathetic,
I'm pretending, I'm not here,
A question of a phone call,
I say it doesn't matter

A stupid note,
Not sure if you want to respond,
I'm not sure if I want you to respond
A question of a phone call,
A stupid note,
A question of a phone call

Cigarettes and Listerine
My stomach hurts but my teeth are clean
reading the same books again and again
Not looking for hooks,
Haven't had a chorus in over two months
just ink on paper
Track Name: Bashful V.S. Bittter
Bled from the stomach
I was in pain,
As I walked through town
My insides falling out,
Didn't seem to matter to those that were around
So it begs the question,
Do I always look this way?

Life it can seem so boring,
Compared to all of you're fantasies,
But you're hope that thinking this way
That it will build to something tangible,
Something sweet

Like salt on a stone,
Waiting for the slug,
Saying “Come Hither”
Leave you're maladjusted heart
Feeling bitter

Did God tell you it was okay?
To fuck up my life like that?
I'm glad you had to take up
With an enemy like that
I hope you're heart breaks into,
As many pieces as all the days that I loved you
And I might be alone now,
But no matter who you're with,
You'll be alone forever

I lay down across train tracks,
Imagine this is what my graves like,
My body adjusting to the craggy rocks,
Being eaten by insects

Did God say it was okay?
To fuck up my life like that?
Well I’m glad you had to take up with the enemy
Track Name: Saturday Night
You look like my ex-wife
Probably not the way to start a relationship right
I don’t go out on Saturday night
I go for a run
Write a song for an old friend
Count up paychecks
Looking at numbers get my bank account right
Smoke cigarettes
Count shooting stars
Across the moon at 2am
Write verbs till 3, try to go to sleep

Well I’m sorry that I wronged you
I’m sorry that my heart moved,
I’m sorry about your heart

I’ve gotten into decent shape
My body built like my mind
Stretched out and thin, bent in certain places
I’ve fallen off and gotten back on again
A greyhound bus that goes nowhere
I’ve searched and searched across the mainland
It all seems the same, it’s a shame
Track Name: Future Men
I fell asleep early, after listening to politicians speak of future men
I dreamt of a north eastern forest, it was some kind of party
Pat and Curt were there, Curt had on his old hoodie
And he’d been clean like the past five years never happened
Then we dispersed into the forest

And I awoke around 1am, to the sounds of rain
And I try to go back to sleep again
Do I have a head cold?
Or was that a fever dream?
Or just bad allergies?

And I walked, until I found a house
In the basement I found a couch,
I put the tv on and you came in

When you came in you took the remote and turned the tv off
And you crawled into that couch and we tried several different positions
And like a cat you put your two paws on my chest and kissed me
And then we slept for four days and felt refreshed
Track Name: Bashful Hips Part III
We tear each other apart
With our nicotine stained teeth
But they were only love marks
My lips on your fake spray-on tan shoulder
Your beautiful fists breaking my empty eye sockets

You think it would be fun if we made love, falling down a flight of metal stairs?

You think it would be fun if we made love in a bed filled with razors and soft sheets

I can smell your stiches

Well I’m bruised and broken,
There are some things that are just supposed to go unspoken
Well there are certain position’s we can’t help but fall in
The way you came out was like watching the northern lights through ice
You were cold and green and unattainable
Track Name: I'm Sure It's Complicated
Mood swings and restless feelings,
Exercise to burn my whole being,
Ask questions, be friendly, and try to place my chaotic energy
Be on the upswing of things, it’s easy when you were pushed so low
A punishment you gave me, I’ll live with it forever

How does that make you feel?
I’m sure it’s complicated; to me it doesn’t even feel real
to me it doesn’t even feel

I want to return to my earliest form,
But I get the chance to walk through a different door,
I’m always so damn unsure,
I wear my heart underneath long, long sleeves
Underneath wool sweaters,
I have a layer of cotton as armor
Track Name: Geography
A group friends they have dinner parties
Romantic talks late into the early parts of the mornings
Clean sheets, blankets and good movies
Art that’s way over our heads
Intellectual conversations that never seem to end
Giving us a new feeling, feeling better inside our heads
A touch that is deep,
The poems you read that sweep us off our feet

Do you know your geography?

It’s the day I was born tomorrow,
I've forgotten the past, and have moved way past it
So much I don’t even have to say it
I live in the future that is the present
I’m alive and that’s my birthday present
I’m alive, today I’m alive, I’m just alive,
Today I’m more alive, everyday I’m alive

I want to stay one more day
Track Name: A Reason
I haven’t touched myself in months
There has to be a reason why I’m so messed up
There has to be a reason why I can’t let anyone in my bed
And it makes sense after all these months why I can’t connect
After all these months I just need to look away

There has to be a reason why

When you came around the corner,
I told my date I didn’t feel so well
She said stay
I put a cigarette butt into my arm behind the dumpster
With all these smiles around,
I ask what’s wrong with me?

I realize it’s hard to be

And I’ve gone through this war without armor
There’s no reason for it
I stand here with my chest open
My heart beating but it’s broken
Track Name: Product Placement
You should only fall in love with all of those American corporations
Watching cable drama tv shows alone
For the second time in a row
You grab my hand tight like you haven’t been held by a man right,
In a very long time
Sometimes my tongue gets swollen from the lack of verbal motivation
Track Name: Kim Kardashian
Like trying to read the future in tea leaves
Or admiring the beauty in the trees
Or ignoring the fact that your new apartment may have fleas
And you’ve been trying to see rats and trash differently
“Well how’s that going?”
You readjust words and well known terms
You look for truth in dirt and overturned moss
You’ve been doing it for so long
But you have a greater understanding of what it takes to move rocks
And you actually believe it
Track Name: An Old Man
Like a parallel universe,
Or an episode of the twilight zone,
It’s like this life wasn’t mine
Even as time moves and things are fine
It’s like I was given a different script,
Half way through a movie that was going fine
An old man told me to just call it out
But I didn’t hear a thing
Like getting angry at the moon could do anyone any good,
Reflections of the past unknown,
As we know feelings repressed,
Can make actions go in in some strange directions
But it only seems erratic because you’ve never felt the weight of the underground
Or seen the waves of sounds or the way dancers push each other around
I put my faith in nothing and I’m seeing a return
And it makes this court house seem funny,
Even more, it makes it seem intellectually, just so damn lazy
Track Name: Everyday Normal Lies
What the fuck am I doing here?
My motivation is crystal clear
And I don’t know what this all means
I’m guessing it might not mean anything
And that might be the meaning of everything
I call you, I call myself, I call you a liar
For waking up and going through every morning
And lately I’ve been inside of a fog
Trying this business suit and trying this tie on
And lately I’ve been in a fog
Thinking that there’d be some kind of certainty in a future
Track Name: Nothing Moves
I remember that born again Christian girl with cutoff jeans
She had cuts underneath her sleeves
And I was surprised and I became shy
And I was naïve at the time
Now I wonder what it would be like,
Would she stare inside my two dead eyes?
I dreamt nothing moves and I dreamt nothing moves you
Nothing moves you,
So you move into gentleman in the morning that you’d call a mistake
And I think it’s too late to shower you off,
Scrub the come off your legs
Your office wear doesn’t disguise your dirty hair
And this whole scene makes me feel completely apathetic
And the worst part is that you’ve become so damn pathetic
Track Name: A Crosswalk Ending
It should be poetic that this story arc begins and ends with a crosswalk
I turned and I walked away from you
Now if we were to meet someday in the future
I wouldn’t talk; I’d fix you a plate
And we’d sit silent knowing that we both made some mistakes
And the fate of conclusions can go so many different ways
And after all this pain,
I don’t have any answers
My limbs repair and my legs are beginning to stand straight
I’m learning to stand straight